Hello. This is a public dance floor. Put in a $2 coin for 1/2 hr… there’s a headphone jack cable in that washing machine to plug yer MP3 player into… This is AWESOME (at Dance O Mat)
hmmmmmm…. well they’re not anywhere but it’s something like:
on the d string play the 7th fret, 4th, 2nd while droning the A string… (hey baby, i’m bein ginger)… then for the ooo-ooo-ooo part i play a the b power chord, Am open chord, B power, D power, then back to the lead on the D string. And i fuck around and zoom around on that D string lead, that’s the only variation.
G O O D L U C K
—-> i’m sure whatever you come up with off of that will be beautiful xo
R E C O R D. R E L E A S E. ⚡⚡⚡ in Melbourne last night. Sydney tonight. Dog House Party 🐶 #tether #sofast #ericafreasaustour
@softmagic I took liberties w our photostrip 💋 #therewent2hours #bellyoncassette #onebricktoday @terrajayneee
these’ll be released on ONE BRICK TODAY (Sydney, Australia) in January 2014 for that Australian tour I’m doing… hello?! what a life!
This is an example of silencing:
"also, official statement: FUCK RVIVR + anyone who uncritically reblogs or supports their rhetoric."
Sure, fuck RVIVR, that’s fine.
Fuck anyone who doesn’t have the same critique as this person?
Think for yourself.
To all of you who have taken the time to write me beautiful, articulate, passionate and painful personal messages about what accountability means and has meant to you:
It’s amazing the stories that we are all carrying (often silently) inside ourselves. So. Much. Strength.
I’m 30 odd shows into a 60 show tour with my band, RVIVR. I would love to write this from the quiet zone of my house where I could really spend as long as I wanted thinking and revising exactly what I want to say, but I’m pissed so I’m drafting from the road…
This is about sexual assault. I’m not going to use internet code so that my words are accessible to people who don’t already know all that vocabulary.
I called attention to a zine in Cambridge, Boston that was part of a consent-themed collection brought by the diy, (amazing) volunteer run Support Boston collective. It was called “How to Find a Helpful Therapist.” The piece is from a grater collection in a zine called “Its Down to This.” It was written anonymously by a sexual assault perpetrator about their experience attempting to be accountable for their fucked up actions of sexual violence. It was amid other classic zines on consent and survivor stories/experiences.
Some people were hurt by how I spoke about the zine; that I said anything at all; that the zine was at the show; and/or that the zine exists at all. One of these people called me and RVIVR rape-apologist. This has been reblogged with attitudes like perpetrators should receive NO resources, that all resources should be reserved for survivors. That ALL perpetrators should be killed. That accountability is bullshit. People will never change. That I deserve a can of pepper spray to the face for speaking up about diy resources for perpetrator accountability. There’s been an editing battle on the RVIVR wikipedia page.
When I read these posts I wonder if these people are thinking about the reality of the big picture…
What happens to the people who offend? Prison? Lethal injection? Murder? Move on to another scene? Do they disappear? Lie loudly that they didn’t do it and turn the situation into a “they said/they said” battle? What about when it’s YOU who fucks up and seriously hurts someone else? What about when your best friend/sibling/someone you LOVE is revealed as a perpetrator?
In contrast, we’ve had many many more conversations in person, at our shows, with people who are curious, concerned and consistently reasonable. For the hundreds of “likes”, reblogs, “broken hearts”, people that “expected something like this”… not ONE person has contacted us over the internet to clarify the situation or express their anger.
I’m not upset that the initial person chose to call me a rape apologist. I’m not linking their post so that people will leave them alone. They’ve asked to be left out of the public discussion of this. Of course it affected us. I wanted to quit and go home. Now, after a bunch of reflection and questioning, I feel a stronger conviction.
We speak about challenging stuff at our shows. We’re a fucking punk band. We’re not gonna stop. Rape culture is a fucking challenge in our world, as well as within punk. Sometimes we are gonna talk about trying to end it. It affects all of us.
I’m not writing this to convince anyone to like my band. I literally do not care. Our shows are amazing when they are full of people who truly want to be there. I’m writing because I can’t stand-by while this message is proliferated:
Don’t speak up about sexual violence (or any “triggering”, relevant, important subject that affects us all) unless you say it in the “correct” way or you’ll be called an apologist and have physical violence threatened against you…
Silence is one of the most powerful ways that rape culture continues. As we all know, shame keeps us silent, fear of not being believed keeps us silent, fear of being pushed out of our scenes keeps us silent, FEAR OF SAYING THE WRONG THING keeps us silent.
To be clear, NO ONE is obligated to give people who have fucked up so extremely even a sliver of their energy or compassion. Ostracization and violence are tools that have their place and their consequences and we all have the right to choose when and if we want to use them.
As well, many people DO have the energy, compassion, desire to work toward restorative/transformative justice, accountability efforts, support groups, etc, for people who made the fucked up choice to assault someone, and/or are afraid of perpetrating (again).
Thank you to these people doing this complicated and often controversial work!
You’re efforts are noticed and we are grateful for them!
We need you!
I’m glad that I spoke about this zine. I apologized for hurting people with my words, my apology was sincere. You can read it on my tumblr page. I don’t post a million things so it’s like four down.
To those of you who thought my apology was weak, fake, insufficient, a “non-apology.” I DO NOT apologize for disagreeing with y’alls point of view about perpetrator accountability. It’s important to have diversity in tactics.
Go on with yours, but leave your agenda off of us.
I think it’s important for some people to hear the voices of others who have chosen to address their fucked up decision to hurt another person through sexual violence. This is why we need resources that role model a path to accountability in a responsible way. The alternative is an ever-present rape culture that affects all of us. The alternative is a broken judicial system that doesn’t nurture or often even believe survivors.
Yes, accountability can be problematic and we’ve all got many stories and experiences of people abusing accountability processes to gain status and/or manipulate others. It also DOES work sometimes with willing and honest participants. It may work more often if there are more resources guiding people toward this less-travelled outcome.
Like anything, there’s gray area.
Ok, also, it is reasonable that the zine was anonymous, if the author were identified I would wonder what their intentions were and whether they were trying to gain cred through their “accountability efforts.” If they were identified it could draw the other people involved in their assault, (like the survivor/s), back into the spotlight.
Let’s say it all together now:
IT IS NOT THE JOB OF SURVIVORS TO EDUCATE PERPETRATORS & ABUSERS.
And in order to self-educate people need resources, role-models, voices that reflect their experience.
IT IS NOT THE JOB OF SURVIVORS TO END SEXUAL ASSAULT.
It IS the job of perpetrators, would-be perpetrators, ANY OF US who have the energy in our scenes, communities, bars, parties, collectives to talk about the reality of rape culture, the reality of it’s existence within our subcultures and what resources we have to end this violence.
To me, this method of tumblr “activism” seems more focused on tearing down other leftists who have a different means toward a similar end goal. There are real issues that matter a hell of a lot more than when some stupid band said a thing at one show.
Where’s the gray area?
Why can’t we, the queer feminist gender*fuckers, see beyond the binary?
Why the fuck are some people so fixated on the exact wording rather than reaching for the underlying message?
Why is this a debate/write-off rather than a dialogue?
Why do some of us expect the very worst of each other?
Hiding behind your keyboard, anonymously altering a wikipedia page with misinformation. These are cowardly, fraudulent “actions.” You do injustice to the very people you howl about protecting. You do injustice to a legacy of survivors and individuals outside “the system” working toward ending rape culture. You do injustice to your fucking selves.